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The Vatican – The scary thing is, people take these guys seriously.
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Chavez Succumbs to Drone Radiation Attack
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Caracas, Venezuela – Hugo Chavez dies of cancer exactly 18 months after a US drone delivered a lethal dose of radiation.
The defiant Chavez is seen in this undated photo, shaking his fist at the intruding drone which made a single low flying pass.
Irradiating his podium for a mere 12 seconds, the drone silently delivered enough radiation to induce terminal lymphatic cancer.
A US source, off the record, is quoted saying, "We’ve been using radiation to eliminate troublemakers since Martha Mitchell; however, this delivery system is much easier than putting strontium-90 in cornflakes"
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Dennis Rodman Trumps Hanoi Jane
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Pope Joins Church of Scientology
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The Vatican – Citing better pay and a chance to meet more exciting people,
the Pope today announced he will be resigning from the Catholic Church and starting a new
job as leader of the Church of Scientology.
Although, always being somewhat of a rebel, many Catholics are shocked at his announcement.
"You’re never too old to move onto a better opportunity," the Pope said,
"Hey, you’re lucky I’m giving you a two weeks notice."
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